You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
