I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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