She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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