Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
