is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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