Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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