I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Never underestimate the power of titties
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
