using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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