I hate your face
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
