Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
