shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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