Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
