She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
this is an emotional support booty call
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize