Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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