Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Too much gin, very little bucket
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's not a walk of shame if you run
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
