The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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