bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
