you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
