So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
