I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
