i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
