By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
