Do you still have your period?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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