Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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