That's intense
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
