Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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