my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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