The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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