I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
