Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
