So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
