I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
