so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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