I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize