If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
