omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize