how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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