I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just had sex on a roof
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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