i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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