Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize