you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize