Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Boobs speak an international language.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
