I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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