I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize