please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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