the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
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shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
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I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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