What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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