Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
