dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
