I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She announced her abortion via fbk
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
