I'm really into asian looking animals
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
