Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize