i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
