i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
