We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
