just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
