ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
