At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
