Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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