Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i used baking grease as lip gloss
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
