He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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