Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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