the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you will always have a special place in my vag
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
